Are You Giving the Right Signals?

Whether we are aware of it or not, we are giving out signals to others all throughout the day about who we are and what we are all about. We judge and are judged based on these signals. In a certain sense, signals and the screening process to detect them underpin social interactions of any type, whether for pleasure or business. Let's talk about some examples.

When Signaling is Blatant
This past week, a colleague of mine told me a story about a recent college grad she was interviewing that responded to the question, "What do you like to do in your spare time?" with the answer "I like to go out and party with my friends." My colleague told the story with an air of bafflement, marveling that a person having gone through college should not know that this is an inappropriate answer even if it is true. In other words, truthfulness can signal immaturity or lack of awareness of certain norms. The person didn't get the job.

On the Other Hand...
But sometimes a person can proudly proclaim their lack of a "filter" on what they say, indicating that they are too passionate or perhaps too important to play by the same rules as the rest of us. In game theory lingo, this is known as a "countersignal" and is very much the same as the genius wearing eccentric clothing (a suit with white tennis shoes) or the truly talented person downplaying their credentials. Signaling that we are the same as others, that we are "normal", puts us in the same bucket as everyone else. We all want to be abnormal, just in ways that are admired. Exceptional, not purely normal. The trick is knowing which rules to break. Another colleague listening to the story of the interviewee remarked, "at least you know you're going to get someone who says it like it is!"

Is This Some Kind of Game?
We all know the person who obsesses way to much about what others think, especially in the corporate world. They spend their days crafting a persona, wearing their credentials and accomplishments on their sleeves, and being entirely transparent about the game they are playing. If you are like me, this is laughable at best and intolerable at worst. Can't we just be who we are and forget all the social intrigue and gamesmanship? Fortunately, the answer is a resounding YES!

Find Your "True North"
It starts with being acutely aware of who we are and what we stand for. Our internal moral compass, our "True North" as a former CEO of my company, Bill George, described it, tells us what rules to break because obeying them would be breaking a more important personal rule. It helps, though, to have an accurate appreciation for how others perceive us because we are being screened based on the signals we are giving out. That may mean we "lose" at a game others are playing in order to win at a larger game. There is always a larger game.

Tell me about rules you or someone you know has chosen to break - countersignals and their impact. What about your "True North" - in what ways does your internal compass drive you to swim against the stream?

When you just plain get it wrong...

A "Rubber-Necking" Society
The news is full of people getting it dead wrong. Whether it's a politician, referee, corporate executive or celebrity, we seem to very naturally fixate on the egregious calamity known as human error. Certain individuals are unfortunate enough to have their biggest gaffes played out on the national stage, recorded and forever immortalized for all to gawk at for generations to come.

This post is not about screw-ups, though. We all screw up. The real question is what we do next.

Perfect Imperfection
There was an example in the news recently of a baseball umpire named Jim Joyce blowing a call with two outs in the ninth inning that cost a Detroit Tigers pitcher a perfect game. For those of you who don't know what a perfect game is, there have only been 20 recorded perfect games in 135 years of Major League Baseball. In order to notch a perfect game, a pitcher needs to retire all 27 batters in a 9 inning game - 3 per inning. No hits. No walks. No errors. It is the opposite of the type of imperfection we are addressing here.

A "Mea Culpa" Case Study
Jim Joyce did not pull a Rod Blagojevich and insist in his innocence. He did not pull a Bill Clinton and hide behind a technicality or semantics. He owned up to the mistake and apologized without reservation.

Here's what he said: "I missed it...this is a history call...and there's nobody that feels worse than I do. I take pride in this job...and I took a perfect game away from that kid that worked his [expletive] off all night...I thought he beat the play...there was nothing else...What do I say, I missed it. It's probably the most important call of my career and I missed it." When reporters gave him the chance to throw others under the bus - his staff, the fans, the Tiger's manager - he refused, and claimed that he would have done the same in their shoes. Remarkable.

...And when you're on the receiving end of a mistake
Perhaps even more remarkably, the pitcher, Armando Galarraga, didn't even protest the call. He never complained, or got in the umpire's face. He accepted the decision and moved on. When asked about Galarraga, Joyce marvelled, "He didn't say a word. Not a word." How many of us would have remained silent in his shoes? Not me.

It's usual to see screw-ups in the news. It's not usual to see people facing blame with the accountability of Jim Joyce. And it's not usual to see people facing unfairness with the acceptance of Armando Galarraga. If we take a page from these individuals, I believe we will be better equipped to deal with the inevitable errors and unfairness in business.

In case you're interested, you can watch the play here.

Thoughts?

Carried away with C's...

Inspiration on a Leash
Walking my dog this evening, my brain was stuck on C's for some reason (maybe because I'm still disappointed about the Celtic's win last night). In any case, I came up with the following list of traits that it would seem to me are critical to being a success in business (and life?..)

Climbing with the 9 C's
Contribution: Care more about helping others than achieving for yourself
Character: Commit to doing good things, and then do what you say you're going to do
Confidence: Believe in yourself, your capabilities and your intrinsic value
Credibility: Know the most about your subject matter and be the best at what you do
Charisma: Enjoy being around people and leave them feeling better about themselves
Connections: Value relationships and spend time building and preserving them
Class: Say the appropriate things at the appropriate times and avoid crudeness
Control: Have a plan amidst uncertainty and doubt
Creativity: Do things in ways that have never been done before

Deviating from the Usual "Self-Help" Mumbo Jumbo
Now I won't go so far as to say that these traits necessarily translate into climbing the career ladder. In many organizations people are promoted because they are feared. I would, however, rest my head on the pillow at night knowing that regardless of whether or not I got promoted, I fulfilled the well-known Army motto - "Be all that you can be".

What about your list - what would you add or take-away from my list (extra points if your words start with "L")...

Once upon a time...

You may know a story like this one. This is a story about a man who gave a company back it's soul. There was a company that used to be about helping people get better. It was wildly successful, and began to focus more and more on profit. A man in the company didn't like what was going on. He decided not to leave, and instead began collecting information - data - about customer's likelihood to recommend the company to family and friends.

At first, he collected this information behind the scenes, not making a big fuss about the results he came up with. To be fair, the company still had plenty of fans, but a rumbling of discontentment was building with what was perceived to be unfair policies that extracted "bad profit" - profit at the expense of the customer as opposed to profit coupled with benefit to the customer.

The man got his chance when the leaders of the business came to the realization that customers were leaving and profits were not growing at the rate they expected. He shared his data with the executives, and was given the task of turning the culture around.

He started his turnaround effort with an all employee meeting in which he showed the data. But no one really remembers the data, they only remember a single number: 14. 14 was the number of times a loyal customer had been transferred in her attempt to get credit for old accessories that would no longer be usable if she decided to upgrade to a newer product that used different accessories. In the end, she decided to go to the competition. The product was for her sick son.

This is a story about the power of storytelling. The charts and graphs did not elicit the same collective sigh from the audience that the story did. The data and statistics were not retained in the collective memory of the employees - the woman's plight was retained. The story began the process of re-injecting soul into the company.

Much of our effectiveness in business is determined by our ability to present to groups of people. I just attended my organization's national sales meeting, and there were plenty of slick slides, charts, even pyrotechnics (you gotta love sales). But years from now, I will recall the stories that were told. I am a "numbers" guy, but the story I told is a true story that taught me about storytelling, and about the human soul.

What other presentation tips or resources would you like to share?